world without end
(a three-legged dog finds its place in the sun)
sometimes hiding out is necessary
to illumination
a place
where we can make something
from our distractions
& our shuffled perceptions
a near constant visionary state
that makes rational, linear thought
extremely difficult
if not impossible
that overwhelms
conventional behavior
& common sense
an imbalance that can't be
chemically rectified
some need an asylum
where they can pray
to the patron saint of the outsider
the marginal, the isolated
the illegitimate
some need a place
to wait out
those long silences
between bursts
of the ecstatic
others require a shelter
while they search for a way
to bridge the gap
between themselves
& the world
blood money
everyone has a name for it
divine retribution, karma, shit list
the inevitable
some are taught to look on high
others are trained
to keep head bowed
some lug around a white whale
everywhere they go
others carry the weight of the whole world
some feel weighed down
by something
they can't define
but there's no way
to measure one man's suffering
against another's
some seem to have a bullet
with their name on it
& no matter what path they take
its going
to find
them
some have a target
on their back
but its just for show
others seem to have no weakness
but still they're shot
straight through the halo
sacred ground zero
many can't understand the pull
it has on body & soul
they swear they could spit it out
until they've had a taste
who knows why some people
never fall into a habit
& others are cursed
with a need so deep
it can never be filled
but they'll die trying
whether its immortal or ancestral
i don't know
whether its temptation or blood pact
i can't answer
whether its necessary to twist
until its strong enough
to climb
out of the darkness
or we need something
to help us stay awake & alert
while we wait for the angel
isn't for anyone
to
judge
illumination poem
it was an illuminating experience
that began as disorientation
& ended up speechless
there were no witnesses
& i have nothing
to show for it
no enlightening explanation
or even
an interesting story
many stroke victims
lose the ability to speak
but can sing complete songs
the limitations
of rational thought & action
can be frustrating
we want to throw
everything we've written
into the fire
& watch
as art rises
from the ashes
west of eden
why did i wait for the blood
to wash over me
instead of jumping right in
why did it take so long for me to see
that their definitions
were unacceptable
they raised questions
that could only be answered
with sleight of hand
my answers weren't bad
but they were never
good enough
to get me
through gilded doors
off blistered road
part idiot savant
part self loathing built to crash
part wounded animal on the run
always wondering
when the world
would catch up to me
& when it did
get close enough to touch
what would be my response
how would i mark the occasion
with their blood
or my own
on the diamond
in this world of situational ethics
& unstated but very real indifference
to the value of human lives
those with no connections
therefore no meaning
evil has more range
than ever before
a world where unity
is based on negatives
common fears & hatred
a world where the thread-bare
better be thick-skinned
to stand the bullwhip
of economic terrorism
or be sliced
into even smaller details
a world where those on the inside
are afraid
those on the outside
are dying to get in
will use any means necessary
to break down those walls
a world where justice is blind alright
its whacking away at the have-nots
with nightsticks
like their heads are prize-filled piñatas
a world where those that have
strut it for all its worth
but its the swagger of a little man
sure they'll taunt a dead horse
but they're afraid to beat it
until its been checked
for no pulse
