~why I don't go out anymore ~
I sat on the barstool
watching the flies pile on shit
wondering what appeal there is
to pretense
the penny whore in a push-up bra
worked the bartender for a free drink
I sat in the choke hold of the smoke canopy
as techno music(?)pulsed
and sweaty snakes in shiny polyester
wrapped around thighs
looking for a hole
insecurity wore name brand jeans
and press on nails
and arrogance hid his insecurity
in a shot glass of cheap whiskey
and makeshift poets
tried to finesse an invitation home
and I remembered why
I don't go out anymore
~Looming~
anxiety
hovering overhead
the storm
tattering the thresholds
of the clouds
and bearing
down
upon the defenseless
there is no shelter
no canopy
to protect
the innocent
while the parched
gulp with a conviction
that resembles greed
not even pausing
to consider
others might be thirsty
but drowning
instead
in what they
do no know
how to receive
~hit me~
yours
is not always
the truth
I am longing
to hear
still,
I will take
honesty's beating
over deception
any day
I'll even
thank you
for the pain-
it reminds me
all of life
is beautiful
I like the bite
sometimes
a little
kick start
to get me
moving
in my life
I've only
known
the betrayal
I allowed
myself
to perceive
I'll take
the tart
tasting swallow
overy candy coated
bullshit
every time
~The Edge~
just outside the boundaries
of our humanness
resides the true comfort zone-
dare to chance it
eep
t s
s l
the ope
to its edge
challenges us
rivaling our determination
and most turn back
battle scar(r)ed
and exhausted
I kept going once
and learned
what life can be
and I will
never
go back again
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BIO: Chloe Ryan is 34 but clinging to "chick status".
She has 20 poems in a poetry book "Dark Nights", has
her own book, "Leaving Yesterday", published by Crazy
Horse Publishing, and was recently published in The
Dream People and Nirvana Flats. She's rumored to being
doing something at the 2003 Pop Culture Association's
Annual Conference, but then again, there are probably
many rumors about her...she only admits to the good
ones. She claims "life is so full of possibilities and
the thrill of the unknown is so great".
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